How do you like your vegetables?

These are steamy.......and hot.........

Farting Banned

The government of Malawi has introduced an new bill banning farting. Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote public decency. "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting."Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio. He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders. When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

If only we could ban bullshit.

New application for iPad

May the force be with you......

Nice VW ad doing the rounds.

Balotelli's Busty Beauty Badgered By Berlusconi at Bunga Bunga Bonkathon

Click here to see whose been a naughty Prime Minister?

Which do you prefer? Stairs or escalator?

Girls just wanna have fun! Cyndi Lauper isn't.....

Cyndi before......

Cyndi after......

I was thinking of having a chemical peel as I was worried about my complexion. Think I'll give it a miss.

It's Groundhog Day!

Today is Groundhog Day.  Made famous by the eponymous movie, the largest Groundhog Day celebration is held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania. where the the world's most famous groundhog, Punxsutawney Phil, makes his weather predictions.


If, upon emerging from his burrow in Gobbler's Knob (you couldn't make this up!), Phil sees his shadow another 6 weeks of Winter lies ahead.  If not, Spring is around the corner. Analysis shows that Phil's predictions have been correct only 39% of the time but why let facts spoil the party.  Neither does Phil live in a burrow.  He actually lives (with his wife Phyllis) in the town library and is cared for by a mysterious group called the "Inner Circle".


Legend has it that Phil is 120 years old. Zoological data suggests that groundhogs have a average lifespan of 10 years in captivity and 6 years in the wild. Punxsutawney Phil fans say that there is only one Phil (all the other groundhog weathermen are impostors), and that he has made weather prognostications for over 120. They say that every summer, Phil is fed a sip of the mysterious Groundhog Punch, which magically lengthens his life for seven years. According to the Groundhog Club, Phil, after making the prediction, speaks to the Club President in "Groundhogese", which only the Inner Circle appear to understand, and then his prediction is translated for the entire world.


Happy Groundhog Day!

Jeremy Paxman and the "C" Word

Even the best presenters slip up.  Jeremy Paxman inadvertently confused "cuts" with another "c" word last night.  Professional as ever, he barely flinched at his own mistake.  This contrasts with James Doughtie, from the BBC's Today programme, who got into a dreadful state when he made a similar mistake a few weeks ago. Must be all the cuts in the BBC!

Working Naked Pt. 2

Janet does her best to look shocked

Today is also the anniversary of the infamous duet between Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson at the Superbowl American Football final in 2004. A "wardrobe malfunction" (yeah sure) at the end of the duet exposed Janet's breast to the full view of the watching audience. Uproar followed and both singers had to apologize. Subsequently CBS network was fined over $500,000!

Let's Get Naked Today!!

Today, 1 February, is "Working Naked Day"!! I think this is a fantastic idea and encourage everyone to join in. There is a whole website dedicated to this unique idea and you can visit it if you want tips and tools on stripping down to the bare necessities at work.  The site's owner Lisa has produced a special video showing everyone what's in her drawers. You should show everyone what's in your drawers as well.  So c'mon everybody, let's get naked at work today!!!

Warning: If you are easily shocked the you might find the contents of this video to be very disturbing.  I did!

Sorry to Burst Your Bubble!

Today, believe it or not, is Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day.  This versatile, remarkable packaging material has been was invented in 1957 by engineers Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes. They sealed sealed two shower curtains together, creating a smattering of air bubbles, which they originally tried to sell as wallpaper! When the product turned out to be unsuccessful as wallpaper, the team marketed it as greenhouse insulation. It was not until a few years later that its use in protective packaging was discovered. Bubble Wrap's first client was IBM, which used the product to protect computers during shipment.


But  as we all know Bubble Wrap's most important function is to provide endless hours of mindless entertainment for the idle minded.  So, to celebrate Bubble Wrap Appreciation Day, why not burst your bubble today!  Enjoy!

Beware of exploding whales

The Whalemobile

I see a reference in this morning's Today in History to a story about a dead whale that spontaneously exploded in Taiwan in 2004 while in transit for a necropsy (that's an autopsy for whales).  You can see more about the story here (complete with video footage - you've been warned!).

It reminded me of a more famous instance of a whale which was found on a beach in the US over 40 years ago. Unfortunately nobody appeared to know how to remove the carcass so, naturally enough, they decided to blow it up!  Except they used a little too much dynamite!

Many Hands Make Light Work

Hitler's Xbox account.

Sorry to hear about the premature death of Bernd Eichinger, who produced and wrote the screenplay for the brilliant Downfall which was about Hitler's last days in Berlin. There have been many parodies of this passage but for me this is the best.  Here, Hitler learns that his XBox Live account has been terminated.

Hitler Gets Banned from Xbox Live - Click here for another funny movie.

On Drunk Texting God, Having A Lisp and Being A Virgin

Kim Clijsters gets her own back on Aussie TV reporter. Karma!

Ricky Gervais at the Golden Globes

I see Ricky Gervais has been upsetting the Hollywood glitterati at the Golden Globes.  Here are some notable quotes. There was also some remark about Hugh Hefner and the "Walking Dead", which sounds fair enough. Anyway, it doesn't look as though he'll be presenting the Oscars.......what a shame! Well done Ricky! Surely Tom Cruise isn't gay? Is he? No.....

"It's gonna be a night of partying and heavy drinking … or as Charlie Sheen calls it: Breakfast" 

 "I haven't even seen The Tourist. Who has?"

"Do you want to go see Cher? No. Why not? Because it's not 1975"

"Nothing for Sex and the City 2? I was sure the Golden Globes special effects would go to the team that airbrushed that poster. Girls, we know how old you are. I saw one of you in an episode of Bonanza"

"I Love You Phillip Morris stars Jim Carey and Ewan McGregor, two heterosexual actors pretending to be gay. So, the complete opposite of some famous scientologists … probably, my lawyers helped me with the wording of that joke"

"Please welcome Aston Kutcher's dad, Bruce Willis! 

"He's the star of Iron Man, Two Girls and a Guy, Wonderboys. Sorry, are these porn films? Kiss Kiss (Bang Bang), Bowfinger. Really! Up the Academy. He has done all those films, but many of you in this room probably know [Robert Downey Jr.] from such facilities as the Betty Ford Clinic and Los Angles County Jail"

Manopause

A medical condition typically found in men in their mid to late 50's brought on by the realization that old age is just around the corner. Symptoms include: hypercriticism, frequent reminiscing about the “good ol’ days”, grumpy and judgmental attitude and a closed minded approach to anything new. The condition is difficult to cure and almost always progresses into oldtimers disease.

The Love Between a Father and Son Moves Me to Tears........