Farting Banned

The government of Malawi has introduced an new bill banning farting. Justice Minister George Chaponda says the new bill would criminalise flatulence to promote public decency. "Just go to the toilet when you feel like farting," he told local radio.

The Local Courts Bill, to be introduced next week reads: "Any person who vitiates the atmosphere in any place so as to make it noxious to the public to the health of persons in general dwelling or carrying on business in the neighbourhood or passing along a public way shall be guilty of a misdemeanour."

Mr Chaponda, a trained lawyer, insists that this includes farting."Would you be happy to see people farting anyhow?" he asked on the popular "Straight Talk" programme on Malawi's Capital Radio. He said that local chiefs would deal with any offenders. When asked whether it could be enforced, he said it would be similar to laws banning urinating in public.

If only we could ban bullshit.